Lessons from Lou

This blog is about my journey through the brain tumor world with my dear husband, Lou. While not a journey I would wish on even my worst enemy, it is a journey that has enlightened and awakened me to what lies within us, and around us, each and every moment of each and every day. There are lessons here....lessons in this journey.....lessons from Lou....that I would like to share with you.

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Location: Chicago, Illinois

Picture of Lou (sick) and I at a party, circa 2005, long ago and faraway. I'm now a middle aged widow, trying to get my life back together. Mother of two young adult sons, living with two adult cats.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

I wonder.....

This is the third day in a row I've written...perhaps it's too much? There's a thought that has been whirling around in my head for awhile now. I've had it many times throughout this journey, but it has become very clear to me lately. I wonder...... I wonder, if this had never happened, would I be spending so much time with Lou? I wonder, if this had never happened, would my sons have grown closer, as they have? I wonder, if this had never happened, would I have grown closer to my sons, as I have? I wonder, if this had never happened, would Drew be in grad school in Chicago (thus also helping the above two points to happen) ? I wonder, if this had never happened, would we have ever gotten any closer to Lou's family....? I wonder, if this had never happened, would we have grown closer to so many of our friends? I wonder, if this had never happened, would Damon have written an award winning poem (I do think so) I wonder, if this had never happened, would my girlfriends have become so dear to me? I wonder, if this had never happened, would I be so close to Anna, Audrey and their mother? (I like to think so) This horrible thing has brought about many good things. I like to think that most of these things would have happened on their own anyway. But I'm not SURE they would have. We'll never know. But I wonder, I just wonder.

2 Comments:

Anonymous angie said...

writing too much?! NEVER. I, as so many have written, look forward to reading your blogs Cathy. So much so that when 1 day passes without a blog i feel like something is missing from my day. ~Everything happens for some greater and better reason and while I'm sure you would've developed close relationships with those around you, this is also such a blessing and it's so wonderful that you and your family are surrounded by so many loving genuinely good people....ultimately it is a reflection of you and Lou...

10:59 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

Cathy----
Your blogs are wonderful; don't ever stop writing. It is amazing how God blesses us in so many ways. My mom and I have always had a shove and pull relationship and then when my dad died a year ago we have become so close. I HATE the fact I have lost my dad/my best fried BUT I love having a great relationship with my mom. It really makes one wonder. In a world of struggle enjoy the good God blesses you with. Much love always.

5:09 PM  

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