Lessons from Lou

This blog is about my journey through the brain tumor world with my dear husband, Lou. While not a journey I would wish on even my worst enemy, it is a journey that has enlightened and awakened me to what lies within us, and around us, each and every moment of each and every day. There are lessons here....lessons in this journey.....lessons from Lou....that I would like to share with you.

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Location: Chicago, Illinois

Picture of Lou (sick) and I at a party, circa 2005, long ago and faraway. I'm now a middle aged widow, trying to get my life back together. Mother of two young adult sons, living with two adult cats.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

An Update

This blog is not exactly serving the purpose that I know some people want and need. If you are checking here to see how Lou is doing....to see what Lou is doing...to see how we are doing...you're not really going to get that. So I'm afraid I am leaving alot of you in the dark because this has become my way of communicating with you....and this is NOT about how Lou is doing, it's NOT about what Lou is doing, and it's NOT about how we are doing...it's about observations and feelings, with some learnings thrown in. That said, periodically I will post an update, if nothing more than to give myself a break from trying to always have something meaningful to say! Nothing much has changed in the last month or so. Lou is no better or worse then he was a month ago it seems to me. A month ago he had an MRI that showed some progression, but not "rampant" as his doctor said. I don't see many changes that would indicate it IS rampant at this point, but what do I know? We have some good days, some not so good days, some wonderful moments, and some not so wonderful moments. All to be expected. The boys are doing quite well, all things considered, or at least I think they are. Drew will continue working at the Mayor's office for the summer, full time (yay!), and he is doing well at school. He has matured so much over the last year or so.....he's truly a man now, shouldering much responsibility and doing it well. Everytime I see him, my heart just swells. Damon is doing better, I think...I hope, I pray. I do not think he is having headaches as frequently as he was, though I think one started yesterday at dinner when the conversation turned to Damon's summer plans and it all had to be explained again for Lou...sigh.....but Damon has had some good news to keep him going ... he was named co-editor of the newspaper for next year (the AWARD WINNING high school newspaper that is!), he won a prestigious award for his poetry, and he is off to study at USC this summer.....all good things. Damon is a great comfort to me...steady and calm, still waters that run very deep. God really knew what He was doing in giving me sons.....THESE sons...... My mom is here for two weeks...it is great having her here but each day I am reminded of the passage of time....she is more forgetful and not as strong as the last time I saw her. It worries me. And, I am so sad that I cannot be there for her as I should be.....I have someone else to "be there" for.....talk about being "sandwiched"...yes, I am. I'm torn between the people I love the most....it truly pains me..... That's about it for us. Tomorrow I will try to think of something pithy to write.....one can't be pithy ALL the time , after all! It's now been 19 months since Lou's diagnosis.....tomorrow is another day, God willing.....

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cathy - you go ahead and post all you want to this blog - it works for you and gets you through the day/night. I read it faithfully and pray for you and your family along with my very precious family everynight before I close my eyes. The time it takes to develop and put your thoughts into writing is worth the time spent for self reflection if it serves no other purpose. Remember - it's all yours..... Keep it up. Love, Toni.

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Leiann Neubauer said...

Cathy,

You keep doing what you are doing. I absolutely love it and look forward to the next one. You tell your feelings - and many times I feel as if you are telling mine. I pray that today is a "good day" for all.

Love and prayers,

Leiann
James' Mom
www.caringbridge.org/in/james

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cathy, it's all "Lessons from Lou," and "Lessons from Cathy," and 'Lessons from your sons," and from Life itself. I am learning from your writing--and I send love to your entire family.
--Emily Woudenberg

7:47 PM  

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