Lessons from Lou

This blog is about my journey through the brain tumor world with my dear husband, Lou. While not a journey I would wish on even my worst enemy, it is a journey that has enlightened and awakened me to what lies within us, and around us, each and every moment of each and every day. There are lessons here....lessons in this journey.....lessons from Lou....that I would like to share with you.

My Photo
Location: Chicago, Illinois

Picture of Lou (sick) and I at a party, circa 2005, long ago and faraway. I'm now a middle aged widow, trying to get my life back together. Mother of two young adult sons, living with two adult cats.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Fresh Air

We live in a tall building in downtown Chicago. It takes a few elevators to get in and out. It's been a good place to be throughout this particular part of our lives because it is within walking distance of the hospital /doctors Lou sees, there are no stairs to worry about, it's an apartment and hence, is pretty easy to navigate, and it's close to all sorts of things including coffee, restaurants, theatre, movies, stores, churches, parks, the lake, and lots of people watching. The one draw back is that it is not so easy to get fresh air...particularly if you have a brain tumor and your recliner has become your security blanket. It's been difficult to get Lou out of late. The weather, at times, has not helped. But today was gorgeous. The windows were open, but that wasn't good enough. I was determined to get Lou OUT. Some dear friends in from out of town stopped by to visit. Lou was dressed and doing pretty well. After they left I said "lets go out for a walk, it's beautiful today ". Lou said, "well, I'm feeling kind of lazy today".........to which I said..."well, lets just go out for a short while, just around the block"........after much hemming and hawing, Lou says "well, ok, if that's what you want to do.....". I get the wheel chair....."what's that for" , he says. Oh dear...here we go. You see, Lou does not REMEMBER that he NEEDS a wheelchair. Well, I tell him we need a little " help", you know, just to get out of the building...... "I don't want to go out if I have to go in that", he says. Darn it. I can't possibly PUT him in the wheelchair, it takes cooperation!! More hemming and hawing. It would be so much easier NOT to go really. The elevators, doors, traffic, etc. He finally says ok. Hooray! I'm not so good with this wheelchair bit. We always get tangled up somehow in those darn foot rests! Finally we are out the door. It isn't so easy to wheel Lou.....he is not a small man after all..... I'm worn out just from getting out of the building. As we walk, he continually asks me if this is hurting my back......"not one bit" I say.....would I tell him if it WAS? NOOOOO...because I desperately want him to be OUT!!! It's my arms that hurt ....... we have a nice walk.....its a gorgeous spring evening......his favorite time of day, when daylight starts to fade.......we sit outside in front of our building, it's breezy and beautiful. It reminds me a bit of times we've had in London....sitting on the Thames, same time of day..... Lou liked to bring champagne to a special bench that has a great view of Big Ben. "This is nice", Lou says, "I"m glad we did this". I agree, it IS nice....it's really nice. I hate to go back in, but soon it starts to get chilly and it's time to go. I once again have a difficult time managing the elevators and doors.....but it was worth it. I ask Lou if he wants to do it again tomorrow and he says, "sure".........but tomorrow......we will start the process over.......it will be the " first" time he has been out in the wheelchair AGAIN.....it makes me tired just thinking about it......but I know, when the time comes.....I'll be up for it.......because it was nice......and Lou was glad we did it...as am I.


Anonymous Cheri said...

Oh Dear, another common for us ... Fred and I LOVED St. James Park ... The Thames ... Big Ben ... any and every thing about London, really. I remember he bought me a Hagen Daz ice cream bar in the park one time ... I had never had Hagen Daz before.

Cathy, you are doing good, real good. I feel like I am walking along beside you as you navigate the wheelchair ... I can feel the spring breeze on my face .... and as always, I can feel your pain.

I love you dear friend ...

9:08 AM  

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