BBBRRRRR.....FURRRRRRRRR

This was the fifth day of sub zero weather here. When the temperature is sub zero in Chicago, the windchill is then usually double digits below zero. That is ARCTIC. People walk all wrapped up like mummies and nobody talks to each other. Your eyes freeze shut, not to mention what happens to drippy noses. It's like a science fiction movie about the end of the world. I hate it. I much prefer snow. I'll take tons and tons of snow, anytime, over this. But I can't complain. "I've got my love to keep me warm", wasn't that a song? I digress. Christmas of 2004. Two months after Lou's diagnosis. He was still somewhat able to Christmas shop that year. Not on his own! He was never able to do ANYTHING on his own after October 6, 2004. We were walking through Marshall Field's (THE Marshall Fields, NOT Macy's), and they were having a sale on furs. They were on display on the mezzanine level, right in the middle, there was no avoiding them. You had to walk THROUGH the furs to get THROUGH the store. The sale was fantastic. Really good deals. Lou wanted to stop. He wanted me to try on a fur coat. He wanted to buy me one for Christmas. I protested, as I often did whenever he suggested something so extravagant (something about being raised Catholic ?). Afterall, he already GAVE me a fur coat. At the time, it was 21 years old, he gave it to me the year Drew was born. I thought it was just fine. It took me awhile to get used to wearing one, and I didn't wear it all that often. It had to be arctic for me to wear it. So it really wasn't worn out. But Lou was insistent. He wanted me to have a NEW fur coat. Then the salesman joined in. That did it, he was greek. A charming older greek gentleman who was working there for only a month, then returning to Greece. There was no getting around it, Lou was going to get his way and buy me a fur. They were in cahoots, the two greeks. I tried on a beautiful coat that made me feel like Cinderella. Lou told the salesman he would be back to buy it. At that time, you would not necessarily know anything was wrong with Lou unless you knew him, or were really paying attention. So I suppose the salesman thought Lou WOULD be back. I knew different. I figured the whole incident would soon be forgotten, and my old coat would suffice for another twenty years. As it grew closer to Christmas, Lou repeatedly asked me if I needed a new fur coat, if I wanted a new fur coat, and told me he was going to buy me a new fur coat. He was fixated on it. I knew if Christmas came and there was no coat, he would be very upset. I decided I would have to buy the coat myself and pretend that Lou had bought it. It was the only thing to do. I went to visit the salesman. I explained the situation. I really was not all that keen on making such a large expenditure. I could have told Lou we bought it and he would not have remembered most likely. The salesman had me put the coat back on. He told me my husband wanted me to have it. He was right of course. With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I knew he was right. So I bought it. Over the next week or so before Christmas, I repeatedly told Lou that we had gone shopping and that he had taken care of my gift. Finally, on Christmas Eve, I "opened" the coat. It was a very cold Christmas Eve, so the coat was worn to church and out to our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. It is a magnificent coat. I haven't worn it all that much the last two winters. Global warming and all, there hasn't been a big need for it. But this year is different. This year, it's arctic. This year, the first winter without Lou, I need this coat. Everytime I put it on, it is like wrapping myself in a big hug from Lou. It glistens in the sunlight and makes me glow from the inside. It was the last big "boffo" (as Lou would say) gift that he gave me. I will treasure it always. With a little luck, it should last another twenty years. Did he know? Did he know I would need a coat like that to keep me warm because he wouldn't be here? I wonder about that, I do. And again I say, thank you, my love. Thank you for everything you did for me, and for everything you are still doing for me.