Lessons from Lou

This blog is about my journey through the brain tumor world with my dear husband, Lou. While not a journey I would wish on even my worst enemy, it is a journey that has enlightened and awakened me to what lies within us, and around us, each and every moment of each and every day. There are lessons here....lessons in this journey.....lessons from Lou....that I would like to share with you.

My Photo
Location: Chicago, Illinois

Picture of Lou (sick) and I at a party, circa 2005, long ago and faraway. I'm now a middle aged widow, trying to get my life back together. Mother of two young adult sons, living with two adult cats.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Two Years Ago

Two years ago today, my beloved daddy died. He died in his sleep, after "successfully" coming through a difficult surgery. It broke my heart. I still can't believe he is gone. When my brother called me that morning from the hospital, I knew. I knew why he was calling. And I became hysterical. Damon was in his room, it was 6:15 am and he was not yet up for school. He was probably frightened at my hysteria, not knowing the reason...thinking it was something with Lou. He didn't come into our room to find out what was wrong. Finally, Damon called his brother. And then Drew called me. It was awful, just awful. The entire thing was awful. Because Lou could not grasp it, could not remember it, from moment to moment, so I just couldn't talk about it. Because it would be the "first time" for Lou, every time it was mentioned. And Lou was very fond of my Dad. So we just didn't talk about it. I went home for one night, hurried back for Lou. No wonder I can't believe my Dad is gone, I never got the chance to mourn him. Over the months after he died, when Lou would ask about my dad, I would say he was fine. Because I know my dad IS fine. The few times I told Lou he was gone were just too difficult for him, and for me. It's also, today, five months since Lou passed away. Sounds like a good day to hide under the covers, not to mention that it is very cold. Good riddance, January!


Blogger Sue said...

Oh Cathy we have corresponded alot about Daddys and losing them and the closeness of Daddys and Daughters. Reading this entry tore my heart out and I cried for you, for me and for all daughters who have lost their daddys. It isn't right, it isn't fair no matter how young or old they are. Daddys are spose to be there forever. I love you my friend.

8:21 PM  

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