Lessons from Lou

This blog is about my journey through the brain tumor world with my dear husband, Lou. While not a journey I would wish on even my worst enemy, it is a journey that has enlightened and awakened me to what lies within us, and around us, each and every moment of each and every day. There are lessons here....lessons in this journey.....lessons from Lou....that I would like to share with you.

My Photo
Location: Chicago, Illinois

Picture of Lou (sick) and I at a party, circa 2005, long ago and faraway. I'm now a middle aged widow, trying to get my life back together. Mother of two young adult sons, living with two adult cats.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Well Done, Please

He liked his pumpkin pie "well done". Meaning, it should not be mushy or too soft, and the top should have some darker spots. He loved pumpkin pie, as long as it was well done. He also loved turkey. The white meat. And he liked it DRY. He did NOT like it too moist. I often wondered if he REALLY liked his pumpkin pie and turkey well done, or if it was his way of dealing with my lack of culinary skills. I can make dried turkey. I can make well done pumpkin pies. And he was fine with that. Lou always said that I never made a meal he didn't eat. What a saint. But I digress. We haven't had years of Thanksgiving traditions that we follow. I'm kind of glad. It made today a bit easier. For many years, we went to Lou's mom's for Thanksgiving. When it got to the point that she was unable to do it, we went to his brothers. We only had it at our place a few times all those years. Then, we started going out. Lou felt very strongly that it was too much work, too much mess, that it was better to go out. Since he was our dishwasher, and I was the reluctant cook, going out was not a bad idea. Lou loved to go to the club we belong to. He loved the atmosphere and getting dressed up. The food was very good. But I always thought Thanksgiving should be at home. So I would make well done pumpkin pies and stuff a turkey breast just to have the smells of Thanksgiving and leftovers. And that's how we did Thanksgiving. Until Lou got sick. Then it was back home again. Last year, we did it up right. Brined the turkey, all the side dishes, pumpkin pies, china, crystal and candles. We had other family members join us. Somehow, I managed to get it right. It was lovely, and Drew even took over Lou's job as dishwasher. When the dinner was over, and we were all sitting around the table chatting, Lou thought we were at the club. I took that as a good sign. I think Lou liked that Thanksgiving at home. Especially since he did not have to do the dishes. This year, we had it here again. Did the whole bit again, just like last year. Only of course, it wasn't like last year. Oh, I think for some of us, it was. But not for me. I feel like I am just going through the motions with just about everything I do these days. Going through the motions gets you through. So, I got through Thanksgiving. And now, I have to get through December. That will be much harder. I'm looking forward to January.


Anonymous Kathie said...

Cathy, one more first down. Sounds like you did ok. Isn't that all we can ask at this point. We had a very nice dinner at our house with both of our young adults (kids) with us and very good friends. Lots of conversations and lots of laughs. Isn't that what it is all about. Then you start to think of all your friends who's Thanksgiving is not the same and never will be. Guess it makes me a bit more thankfull.
You have probable read on Michelle's site we lost a young man this week. Matt was 35 and will be greatly missed. Matt did not have cancer. His illness was not as easily seen so guess we were not ready for what was to come. Today we celebrated what we were thankful for and tomorrow we will celebrate a life ended to quickly. Makes us realize we have no idea what plans there are for our lives. We need to enjoy each and every moment.
You will be in my prayers as we go into Dec. Will be many many more firsts.
God Bless You Cathy.

2:52 AM  
Anonymous Kathie said...

Cathy, I went back and read what I wrote and the first line looks as if I am talking about a good football game.... oh well have to laugh at ourselves don't we. Think I am reading to many of Michelle's football entry's. Thanks Michelle.

2:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done Cathy . . .you made it through. December is going to be hard for you there is no doubt. I remember one of the first emails you sent me with a photo of you and Lou and you told me Christmas is his favorite time of the year. After he died I just dreaded this time of year for you my friend but know that so many people will be praying you through it and Lou although you won't feel his touch will be holding your hand tugging you and loving you through it. Death is so unfair. As Kathie wrote our community will be celebrating the life of a 35 year old teacher who died so confussed and unnecessary and has left a high school sweetheart behind and a family that truly supported and loved him. Death is so unfair to the survivors isn't it. Just know I love you and pray for you Cathy and you are strong and you will meet the challenges ahead and Jan. is coming.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Tony said...

You're right. It is going thru the motions. Family and friends are there but it's never going to be the same.
I too look forward to January.

10:02 AM  

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