Stop The Music, I Want To Get Off

I can sort of handle the decorations, though we will not be having a Christmas tree this year. I am totally surrounded in Christmas decorations, living right on what is known as the Magnificent Mile in Chicago. There's a gazillion foot tree right in our front "yard", covered in tiny multi colored lights. It's beautiful. The kids used to rush home from school on the day they lit it so they could watch it. I can sort of handle the decorations because, after awhile, they become wall paper. And, I can walk with blinders on if I try hard enough. Though once the snow comes, and the holidays become more real, I'll probably think differently about the decorations. But since it's sixty degrees these days, I can sort of handle them. It's the music. I simply cannot handle the music. Music is clearly very important to me, that's one thing I've learned from this journey. Music can make or break my day. It became very important to Lou and I as we navigated the brain tumor world. And, it was always a part of our lives ... we had "our song" (see post entitled "Our Song"), we had other music we loved, we enjoyed chorals and the symphony, Lou liked opera (and I at least listened, much like Lou would at least listen to some of my music, occasionally), showtunes, Frank Sinatra, anything romantic and danceable, and OF COURSE, Christmas music. Lou loved Christmas music. There would ALWAYS be a Christmas CD playing from the day after Thanksgiving until we just couldn't stand it anymore, at least until New Years day. We have many Christmas CDs. We even have a special Beres Family one that Drew made as a gift, a compilation of many of our favorites. Lou REALLY loved THAT CD. So you see, it's the music I can't handle. And it's everywhere. It's in every store now. On the radio. TV commercials. It's even playing on the busses. I can't escape it. It's when it catches me off guard that it's the hardest, of course. And sometimes, it just does catch me off guard, even though I should know better. It's the unpredictability of it,maybe. The decorations stay the same, but the music..you never know what you might get hit with and when. Like today. A huge swell of "Deck The Halls" greeted me as I walked into a mall I needed to make a return at. (Note, it was something I had purchased for my great niece's halloween costume so you KNOW I needed to get that return DONE). I love Deck The Halls. It's joyful and light. It's not sad at all. But, I guess that's why it WAS sad to me today, because it IS joyful and light. Yep, lost the mascara again. May as well forget that stuff for the month. I allowed myself a few moments of feeling bad, I wallowed in it actually. And then I ran on to the store I needed to get to. I was ok by then. Maybe taking care of a halloween return with Christmas carols playing snapped me out of it. At any rate, it's definitely the music. That much I know. Can somebody please stop the music? I'm not sure they make ear plugs good enough for the job.