Don't Sweat the Small Stuff....
And it's ALL small when compared to THIS. How many times have you heard someone say "don't sweat the small stuff"? It hit me on the head recently as I was cleaning some drawers out. (Yes, believe it or not, I OCCASIONALLY do "clean"). I stumbled upon something Drew had written about our family trip to Greece several years ago. It was a recounting of his very first cigar, which Lou shared with him, on a lovely summer evening by a pool in Santorini. Drew was probably 16 or 17. Lou used to enjoy a good cigar. Never at home, mind you, but at the office (this was before all these new rules we have now), on the golf course, or after a nice dinner out. I'm not terribly fond of cigars. Part of it is the memories I have of my grandpa who smoked ten cent white owl cigars constantly. Walking into their house immediately made me queasy. Lou's cigars never smelled like THAT, but I can't get that smell, or that queasy feeling out of my mind whenever I smell a cigar, no matter how good they may be. I never stopped Lou from smoking his cigars, or even complained of it, but I certainly did not encourage it either. The night Lou decided to teach Drew the finer points of cigar smoking in Greece was a perfect summer evening. We had had a nice dinner out, and we were all sitting by the pool. I was not at all expecting Lou to invite Drew to try one. I thought he must be joking. But he wasn't. He took great care in showing Drew how to cut the cigar, smell it, hold it, etc etc. I was not at ALL happy with this idea. I did NOT want Drew learning how to smoke a cigar at his tender age. I was convinced that this one cigar would lead to sex drugs and rock and roll, and that my son would never be the same. Not to mention, Damon was watching all this at HIS then tender age of probably 11. I steamed and fumed, I'm sure. I can be very good at that. I'm sure I ruined the moment. Drew's recounting of this event is wonderful. It does not say I ruined the moment, but it does mention it was "against his mother's wishes"....and there it was, staring me right in the face....after I read of Drew's delight in sharing this experience with his Dad, it hit me...it was NOTHING..one cigar in Greece between father and son...it was nothing, and everything. It was small stuff....and I sweated it. As I look back on that evening now, which surely was a special time for Lou and Drew, I wish I had not sweated it. I wish I knew then that it was small stuff. Small, but important stuff. I'm glad Lou shared this with Drew. And I bet Drew will share it with Damon at the appropriate time. I hope I won't sweat it when that time comes. And, I'd do anything to smell a cigar of Lou's now....lesson learned.
posted by CB | 12:20 AM
6 Comments:
Hello Friend
What a great memory to keep forever. As I am on my trip at this point and up early cleaning my mother's oven for her I recount many good memories in this house with my father. They are things that are good about what has happened and things that will be with me for the rest of my life. So hold on to those memories they will get you through tough days. Hope the time with you mom is bringing delight to you.
Cathy, I suspect that your "disapproval" might have been a part of the general enjoyment of the situation for Lou and your boy! Don't beat yourself up about it.
Love,
Emily
Cathy, I have finally built the courage and necessity to comment on your blog. Each night I search for a new posting so that I may find a glimpse of insight into your current life with Lou. Beyond offering me this window, I learn so much about life, love, and most importantly: how to appreciate both of them.
As you know, Drew is one of my greatest friends in the world, and someone to whom I hold in extraordinarily high esteem. While I would do anything in the world for him and your family, my prayers and wishes have not and cannot lessen the stress and daily struggles that have been placed.
However, after reading this entry, a smile came across my face. Drew and I have ritualized smoking cigars on the roof of my building, allowing us to talk about life and all of its surroundings while gazing at Chicago's skyline. While nothing will ever replace those memories of Greece, please know that Drew's friends still nurture all of the "small stuff" while we sit on deck chairs forty stories above Lake Shore Drive.
Dear Cathy ...
The small stuff is what legacies are made of ...
I am thankful that Drew has Bradley
and Damon has Drew to keep Lou's legacy alive ...
And I'm thankful that Bradley had the courage to share his story with you ...
I'm SURE he knows of your [former] dislike of cigars.
Sending hugs from California!
Dear Cathy,
Like others have said, I, too, keep checking this site for a new posting....you have such a great way of describing the day-to-day journey of this "new life" we have been thrust into....your "Lessons from Lou" have definitely been "lessons for me".....it's just too bad that all of this had to happen to teach us the "simple lessons of life and love". I think we probably all already knew them....we were just too busy in our "other life" to think of them. Thanks SO MUCH for sharing your thoughts with the rest of us. (you really should write a book, you know).
Love, Sharon
I loved this post, Cathy. Vivid, touching, real. Even within a close family, there are some little things that only two members can share which are outside the understanding of the rest. Lou obviously wanted to enjoy this "man moment" with Drew. Maybe, being on the other side of the world, it seemed like all bets were off, no rules posted, and Mom could rant but, whether she was aware of it or not, she held no real jurisdiction on lovely foreign soil. At the time it was happening, it seems to me like a friendship moment. Now that it's long past, it reads like inspiration.
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