A Day In The Life
Or is it?
The days are difficult. I feel as if all we do is drag poor Lou from bed, to chair, to bathroom, to chair, to bed. This is a day in the life...or is it, life? If Lou knew, he would say no. He would say no to this life I think. But he doesn't know, really. I'm told that is a blessing. I suppose. For Lou, yes, for us, of course not.
I can remember when the days in the life were more joyful, even in the midst of this. I can remember when I could find the good in the days, each and every day, in this life we found ourselves in. I can remember when the notion of this..this "life", was romantic in some strange way. I can remember having energy to push on no matter what. I can remember Lou winking at me. I can remember a twinkle in his eye. I can remember having real conversations. I can remember when this life WAS a life.
And now, I wish I had THAT "life", back. Not even our old, "real" life, but THAT life...I would take THAT life back...last summer for instance. It's so strange to think that I would take that life back, gladly now. I would take the treatments, the doctor appointments, the MRI worries, the blood tests, the ongoing searching for information...I would take it all over this. I would take a day in that life again, because a day in this life....is not.
posted by CB | 7:44 PM
5 Comments:
City Mouse, I heard a song on the radio today, that made me think of you, and exactly the kind of heartbreak you posted about. I'm so sorry, Cathy, I know this road isn't getting any easier for you, or for your Lou, or for your boys. I wish I could say anything that would ease it, even a little.
Love from your Country Mouse, in the land of scorching sun, rustling wheat fields and sweet onions...
She Misses Him
By Tim Rushlow
She shaves his face
She combs his hair
She helps him find his rocking chair
She cooks his meals
She wipes his mouth
And the window that he's looking out
She reads him books
She speaks his name
Oh every day is much the same
She sighs that sigh from deep within
The one that says
She misses him
She misses his gentle touch
And the way he used to make her laugh
She misses the man he was
In all of those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
The man who stole her very heart
She misses him
His children come on Saturday
There at his feet
His grandkids play
It's sad they don't know him at all
He's just the one they call grandpa
They take out his trash
They mow his lawn
Things he can't do since he's been gone
She's grateful that they're pitching in
And like everyone
She misses him
She misses his gentle touch
And the way he used to make her laugh
She misses the man he was
In all of those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
The man who stole her very heart
She misses him
And yes they're still together
After all these years
But sometimes you can almost feel
The sadness in her tears
She misses his gentle touch
And the way he used to make her laugh
She misses the man he was
In all of those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
The man who stole her very heart
She misses him
Cathy
Please know that although we are not present walking in your shoes we walk side by side with you and Lou in thought and prayer. Wishing we lived closer. Have I ever told you my father's name was Lou as well. . . . .
Oh Cathy....I just read your latest BLOG today....and it turns out to be a day (or couple of days) that I needed it most. For several days, I have had a few sad, crying moments (in private of course)when I thought about how our life used to be and how much it has changed....and then I read your BLOG and realize how lucky I am to still be in this stage with a husband who does know what is happening, can still tell me he loves me, can still appreciate our life together, and can still get out and about quite well, actually. Again, thanks for reminding me how grateful I should be.
You and Lou are still in my prayers every day.
HUGS, Sharon (w/o Kirby)
Cathy,
I've had a day of crying after learning that Matt's new tumor can only be treated at high risk and, even at that, they can only hope to slow it down... Then I read your note and heard God's voice in your words. I must not grieve what is to come when I still have so much to be thankful for.
God's mercies to you, Lou and the boys as you weather the final storm.
Hugs,
Lori Ware
Good evening Cathy has been a while since I posted sorry for that. Been thinking of you while out of town. Thank you for the honest update. As I told Michelle I wish we lived closer might be a change to do something to help. Buy you a coffee or just sit and listen.
I can not even attempt to understand how your days are.
Will be praying for you. God Bless you and Lou and the family.
Post a Comment
<< Home