Spring Cleaning

I still can't do it. 20 months after the fact, and I still cannot get rid of Lou's things. I have to. I have to empty these closets. I have no problem parting with most of my outdated clothing, but HIS things.....why is it so hard? The coat we bundled him in to sludge off to chemo, MRIs and doctor appointments that long, gray winter...why can't I part with THAT for heaven's sakes? It doesn't exactly hold good memories, for the most part. But, it was the last coat he wore, and I liked him in it. Neither of the boys are his size, so that idea is pretty much out, except for maybe golf hats, ties, and the like. I've given a few things to good friends and family, but I still have so much. I can see why some people do this very early on. I've tried a few times along the way. Figured by now I'd be able to. Yet here we are, the coat is still left hanging in the closet. Maybe next time. I'm quitting for today. Maybe next time.

A Rose Is A Rose

" Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us." --Voltaire Last weekend was an emotional one for me. What would have been my 27th wedding anniversary was Friday, April 11. My niece was married on April 12, and I attended the wedding. She carried gorgeous red roses. I carried one red rose when I was married. Lou send me one red rose every Tuesday from the beginning of our courtship until I had to stop it when he was sick, because it just made me too sad. I think he either bought a rose farm or purchased a lifetime supply. I love roses. Who doesn't? But the quote, above, pictures of these special roses, the would be anniversary, and my niece's wedding have all converged on me at the same time . My anniversary made me sad. Yet, I remind myself how lucky I am that I had twenty five years with Lou. How many others are not so lucky. How many others are deep in the thorns, right now. Unable to pass through them. You have to get through the thorns to smell the rose. I've been through the thorns. It wasn't necessarily "quick", however, but I think I am somewhat through them. And I am enjoying roses, again. Aren't they the most beautiful flower ever?

Busy Living

Been busy living lately. Very busy. All of a sudden, I find myself pretty busy. I'm doing things I didn't have time to do much of while working and raising a family. Those days were busy, too, in a different way. Work, the boys activities, etc. Then came the brain tumor and life stopped pretty much. Busy, yes; the doctors, treatments, research, caring for Lou. Very busy. But very focused. Then came the great sleep, and the sleep walking, when I couldn't do anything at all.....for so long after Lou died. And now. Little by little, I've become very busy. I'm not used to it I think. It's good. It's good to be busy. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just trying to fill the empty spaces. I know I can be alone quite well, so I don't think that is it. What I think it is, is that I've learned that life is too short. Better to get busy living NOW. And so it goes. Happy Spring!

Hope Springs Eternal

I know more than a few people who are in real need of HOPE right now. If ever there were a season for hope, spring is it, isn't it? How can we not have hope, when there is beauty such as this, all around us? We must have hope. We have to have hope. I really hope, that my dear friends who are in such dire need of hope, find it. Soon. Maybe this lovely rose will help. I hope so.

Opening Day

No, they did not win. But it did go 10 innings, and our new guy from Japan made a game tying home run in the bottom of the 9th, oregato buddy! No, they didn't win, but it is baseball season again, another winter is over (maybe), and we are all still here. Life is good. It is. Anytime you can watch baseball in Wrigley Field, it's good. No matter what else may be going on, if you're at Wrigley Field, it can't be all bad. Hence the hat.