Lessons from Lou

This blog is about my journey through the brain tumor world with my dear husband, Lou. While not a journey I would wish on even my worst enemy, it is a journey that has enlightened and awakened me to what lies within us, and around us, each and every moment of each and every day. There are lessons here....lessons in this journey.....lessons from Lou....that I would like to share with you.

My Photo
Location: Chicago, Illinois

Picture of Lou (sick) and I at a party, circa 2005, long ago and faraway. I'm now a middle aged widow, trying to get my life back together. Mother of two young adult sons, living with two adult cats.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Empty Nest

It's more than missing Lou. On a dreary, rainy November night like this, it's missing all that went before. It's missing hearing the kids when you put the key in the door. The running down the hall to give you a hug. The swoosh of activity at the end of the day. The rush to get dinner on the table. The clamboring for attention. The chatter at the dinner table. The mess after dinner. The homework/brushteeth/storytime routine. The plopping on the couch, together. Another day done. I miss all that. I miss all that when I put my key in the door to be greeted by darkness and silence, save for the kitties. I hear the echoes of the kids and wish I could hear it again, wish I could have that life one more time, again, even if only for one day, even if only for one key turn in the door after work. If you have it, yourself, grab hold and hang on to it, tight. It slips through your fingers oh so quickly. The empty nest is not all it's cracked up to be.


Blogger Sue said...

Oh I am so sorry you find yourself in "The Empty Nest." I am so lucky and grateful to have my spouse but at the next year we will be facing "The Empty Nest" as our youngest daughter ventures off to college. How scary, sad and every emotion one can feel all wrapped up in one. My thoughts are with you as you turn that key and the memories and gosts invade your mind. Good thoughts to you.

11:28 AM  
Blogger joyce said...

Cath, I have never posted a note before, although I read the blog often. I was missing you today and thinking of you so pulled up the blog . . . you are well loved dear friend and make such a positive impact on so many people. Let that greet you as you turn the key.
xo, joyce

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Dewdrop said...


Oh that EMPTY nest...

It is a strange coincidence but the same day that you wrote this piece similar thoughts had been going through my mind in the morning as I walked up the road to the station and continued as I waited on the platform for my train to arrive. It started something along the lines of:-

Listen carefully what do you hear?
No not the cars on the road nearby,
There is a strange silence in the house,
no sound of my loved one coming home.

It carried on with thoughts of

no sound of the teaspoon in the teapot ready for a welcoming cuppa (cup of tea)
no sound of preparations for our meal
no sound of the rustling of the daily newspaper
no sound of the children watching television/talking on the phone/using the computer...
no phone call to check that my train home was on time
no irreplaceable one to meet me at the station
no light, no sign of life in the house when I get back home
no cat to greet me as I come in the door at the end of the day
no cat jumping on the bed at night
no-one to "cuddle" in that big cold bed
no-one upstairs for me to take up tea and biscuits when I awoke.

Six/seven years back the house was bustling with sounds from four of us and two cats in the house. One by one they have gone. My beloved wife struck down by cancer, the children flying the nest and the cats reaching the end of their long feline lives. Back then my wife was looking forward to the children leaving and us two growing old gracefully together. BUT now all these hopes have gone and there is this EMPTY nest.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Cheri said...

I swear there is something in the air ... this is the most unsettled I've been since the last few months of Fred's life. I'm finding new things to hate about my new life ... which isn't so bad ... but feels really bad somedays. You know the cure for an empty nest ... MUSIC ... very, very loud. It always soothes my soul.

Wish I was there ... coffee and a hug sounds so good right now.

5:12 PM  
Blogger The Kitchen said...

Sweet Cathy-
Love and hugs to you - I am sorry you are in that empty nest. Thanks for the reminder to me to enjoy the fighting amongst my children and the driving all over Houston that exhausts me - all I am sure I will miss terribly one day.
You are a dear woman!

6:01 PM  
Anonymous Toni said...

Empty nest almost killed me. Brittany off to college - then Dan came into our lives, we took care of him he took care of us (mostly my need to nurture). Then Dan's off to college and Brittany is back with a fiance and 2 cats. Next thing you know it's a new house for her, a wedding and a new dog. BOMBSHELL - within in the next 5 years it's 3 new grandchildren - no more empty nest. It will happen for you as well. Trust it.

7:38 AM  

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