Golfing With Lou

Lou loved to golf. He loved the GAME of golf, not just golfing. He loved to watch it on tv, read about it, and play it. It's a gentleman's game, or it should be. He loved the rules, the etiquette, the beauty of a well kept golf course. He was pretty good at it too. He won the big tournament at the club once. His name is on the trophy on display in the bar. It is only fitting, then, that he would gift me with a set of clubs and golf shoes when we were married. I'm not all that athletic. I took years of ballet. They didn't have much in the way of girls sports when I was growing up. I played softball and ran away from the ball whenever it got near to me. But then, I couldnt really TELL if it was near to me because I absolutely REFUSED to wear my much needed glasses while playing. So much for my sports career. I was a cheerleader. And watched my two brothers play every sport imagineable. Nonetheless, I figured I should try golf since Lou obviously wanted me to. My folks played for years. How hard could it be? I was pretty good at miniature golf. So, Lou tried to teach me. I took lessons. And, we tried to play. It was hard when the kids were young. I never wanted to take all that much time out of a weekend to play, I felt I needed to be at home. But we played, some. Not enough. Late in the afternoon, when the course wasn't crowded, and the sun was going down, we'd play. It was nice. And, we played on trips. Just as I was starting to enjoy it, and just as we were starting to have the time to play, Lou got sick. The last time I played with him, it was August. Three years ago. 6 weeks before the diagnosis. Lou was off. His game was off that summer. Noticeably so. And , he was tired. Soooo tired. But he always rallied, always. If only we had known, that summer. Not that it would have made a difference. But it would have explained it all. Anyway, now I'm golfing, of course. Now I have the time to golf. Now I'm doing what I so wish Lou and I had had more time to do. For the most part, I like it. And I'm glad Lou taught me the game. The ins and outs. The rules. When I play, I constantly hear Lou's voice. His strong, but gentle voice. "BEAUTIFUL, that's beautiful", he'd say, when you hit a good one. "Just tap it in now". "Nice and easy, Cath, that's it". I hear him, constantly. I can smell his cigar. I said I have no regrets. But I do have this one. I wish we had golfed more. I think of him now, hoping he is golfing up there, with his beloved college roommate, also a big golfer, and maybe with my dad too. They had alot of fun on the golf course together. As for me, I guess I'm still golfing with Lou. As long as I can hear his voice, I'm golfing with him. Thank you my love.