It's Just A Car

Or is it? I think not. I think it is NOT "just a car". It's a part of the family. For all the times I felt it was NOT the car that was "right" for me, because it was really LOU'S car, I now find that parting with it is like putting a family pet to sleep. A little background. When I met Lou, he had a little two seater, convertible sports car. He loved that car. I came to learn that he always had nice cars. Nice, as in foreign, cars. I grew up in Detroit. My dad worked for General Motors. There were NO foreign cars in OUR family. There were hardly any foreign cars in Detroit for that matter. I know nothing about cars. They are not all that high on my priority list. I did like the sports car, of course. We drove it for two years until Drew was born. We actually put his car seat in the small space in the back for awhile, not a good idea. Then we graduated to the sedan. And that was our car, for 23 years. That is still our car. That's why Lou bought nice cars I guess, we're still driving it 23 years later. Only now, it's time for it to go. It's been time for it to go for awhile. We didn't want to get a new one while Lou was sick. He would never have been able to understand that. It's time now. I took it in to the shop for something minor, I thought, and they wanted $2,500 out of me. No way. Just spent I forgot how much on it a few months ago. We did the bare minimum to get by for a month or so. It's time to go car shopping. Only now I don't want to. Suddenly, I can't bear the thought of parting with what I always felt was the car that was too big and too sedate. Safe. It was always safe though. Lou cared alot about that. Lou kept it in tip top shape, always. No wonder it lasted 23 years. Now it has rust on it. Just a tiny bit. He wouldn't be happy about that, at all. Now I feel badly that I didn't take care of the rust. Now I feel badly that I ever complained about it, how big it was (well, I'm a horrible parallel parker which is a necessity in the city and difficult with a large sedan). When I left the repair place, I was crying. It all came back to me. So many trips down to his family home in that car to visit his mom. So many trips to visit my folks. Carseats. Carpooling the kids. Driving out to the country club. Lou with a cigar and the sunroof open. The HUGE car phone we had, probably the first one ever made! Taking Drew to college. And, driving Lou while he was sick. He never understood that he could no longer drive. He loved that car. And now, it's time for it to go. It's just a car, darn it. I could care less about cars. It's A THING. But it's not. It's not at all. It's another piece of Lou that we are losing. THAT'S what it is. And THAT'S why it hurts.