FOR EVER

This was the week it hit me. This is FOREVER. And that forever means FOR EVER. I will never see Lou again, in this lifetime. That's what hit me this week, for some reason. Must be the two month mark coming up. On Halloween, no less. Two months. That's just a blink of an eye compared to what stretches before me. And what is now behind me. I study the last picture taken of Lou, a week before he died. We are laying in bed, snuggling. My hands are cradling his face. And he is swollen from the steroids. But he is smiling. Even in that state, he was smiling. I stare at the picture, wanting to get back IN it. Wanting to breathe life into it. Wishing I could touch him. So badly wishing I could touch him. How many times have you heard that saying, "Nothing is forever", right? Not true. This is forever. This is forever, for real. It's a very, very long time to ache.