Suddenly, September

College football is back. This is how we spent Saturdays...watching, cheering, college football. Lou always loved it. Especially the last two years. Suddenly, it's September. How did we get here? Yesterday, I went outside for a breath of fresh air, for the first time in days. It was a clear, beautiful day. But the breeze had the crispness of fall, the fresh smell of fall, carrying the stickiness of summer away. Summer is gone. Not that it matters. There was no summer. No golf, no beach, no Cubs games. Who cares, really. There will be other summers. Someday, there will be summer again. Now, suddenly, it's September. September used to mean fresh starts to me...new school year and all, new clothes, new teachers. Loved the fall...the colors of leaves changing, apples, bonfires, football games, cool evenings, sweaters, plaids. And then I met Lou. It was September when we bumped into each other on Michigan Avenue, and something "happened". Something very magical happened. That piercing look he had. I walked away knowing something special had happened, but I wasn't sure what. That feeling grew into that "catch your breath" pit in the stomach. And then we bumped into each other again. It was weird. Eerie. And then he asked me out. The rest is history. He proposed on our first date. I told him to take me home. I ignored him for a few weeks. Ignored the single roses he sent with notes. Ignored the copy of The Little Prince he sent. And then I couldn't ignore it anymore. I accepted another date. And then he proposed again. I decided to "get to know him better". That resulted in a real proposal on Christmas morning, complete with a beautiful ring. It all started in the fall. The last two falls have been awful. All I can remember are foggy, gray, rainy, chilly days. And tears. Lots of those. From all of us. And Lou, trying to find a way through this. The last few days of Lou's life were gray, foggy, rainy, again. It seemed fitting. But the day he left us was sunny. And it's been sunny each day since. I think it is a sign. To me, it is a sign. He's ok. He's up there with his mom, his dad, Kathie, my dad, and Charlie.....and he's ok. He's sending us beautiful fall days, much like the days of our first fall...the fall when I fell....when I fell, hard. The way fall used to be, before all this. I breathe in the fresh, crisp air, and smell him. I let the sun warm me, and I feel him. I look at the sky, and I know his eyes are upon us. The church bells chime, and I hear him. He is everywhere. It's September, it's fall again, and it will be ok. Somehow, it will be ok. Thank you my love.