The Pack Rat

Lou is a pack rat. It always aggravated me. We have business files from the 1970's in our closets...."you never know", he'd say. Sigh. I knew, but there was no convincing him. Those files have not been touched since they were packed away! So, when this thing was diagnosed, and Lou lost pretty much all of his ability to think straight, I realized at some point, this was going to be my job. Sigh again. It's a big job. It's more then the files. It's piles of papers, bank statements back to the 80's, photos, trip mementos, lists and more lists, receipts, who knows what else. The poor guy just never had time to get organized, but wanted to save it all, "just in case". More sighs. So, the other day, I started with two file boxes that have been somewhat hidden in our bedroom in a corner. Besides the usual very outdated papers I am sure we can do without, I stumbled upon other things....other, more important things. Things I didn't expect to stumble upon. Things I am glad I stumbled upon.... the letters I wrote Lou when we were dating (we only dated for two months before we were engaged so there aren't all that many of those!). Oh how young I was, at 28 no less....and totally swept off my feet. It all came back to me. That flip flop feeling in the stomach you get when you are newly in love. The funny things he would do. The sweet things he would do. How skinny he was! How exciting and different he was. How incredibly brilliant he was. How sure I was. How immediately sure I was. I found the calendar / chart he made that led up to our wedding, all the things to do....ever the organizer and list maker...in his tiny tiny handwriting, there it all was...week by week, with the check marks. He carried that thing in his brief case to our wedding! Fortunately, I do not think he actually consulted it that day. I had forgotten about that chart. He made another one before Drew was born. That's Lou. I don't think he was a boy scout but he sure would have made a good one. And then I found pictures. Pictures from our trip to Wimbledon, I was pregnant with Damon. Pictures from the Masters, same year, earlier in the pregnancy, we had just announced it. How happy we looked. Pictures from our first trip to Greece...tan and carefree, cigars and champagne. Our dear friends Debbie and Larry in tow. How young we looked. How GOOD we looked! That was US??? Wow, so long ago. I didn't get alot of cleaning done. I went over and over those pictures. Tears, yes. But smiles too. How lucky I have been. How incredibly fortunate and blessed we are. To have had a true and lasting love. To have traveled the world. To have two wonderful sons. To have dear friends and family. I put these things away in a special place, with a warm feeling inside. I kissed Lou on the cheek as he lay napping on the bed. I thanked him, for everything. For our life together. And yes, for being a pack rat.