Lessons from Lou

This blog is about my journey through the brain tumor world with my dear husband, Lou. While not a journey I would wish on even my worst enemy, it is a journey that has enlightened and awakened me to what lies within us, and around us, each and every moment of each and every day. There are lessons here....lessons in this journey.....lessons from Lou....that I would like to share with you.

My Photo
Location: Chicago, Illinois

Picture of Lou (sick) and I at a party, circa 2005, long ago and faraway. I'm now a middle aged widow, trying to get my life back together. Mother of two young adult sons, living with two adult cats.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Open Door

There he was, sitting up in his bed, on sheets the color of his eyes, dusk falling, candles lit, lovely music. Outside our windows, the skyline twinkling, the lake a misty lavender blue. Surrounded by his family. His sons, me, and a dear dear friend. There he was, holding court, of sorts. It started out as dinner. Dinner with Lou. It started out as most visits do....."how are you ", "how's the family", "what can I do for you".....always the same questions. Always about the other person. Never about himself. We laughed some, we chit chatted. Some of us ate. Some of us had wine. And then, the door opened. Just a bit. And we went through that door, together, and found Lou. Our Lou. Lou of the penetrating, thought provoking questions. Lou who never was much for chit chat. Lou who always got to the heart of the matter. The voice of a national debate champion now soft, slow, winded....the deep, warm baritone now hardly a whisper. The music stops. We lean ever closer to hear, hanging on every word. We are amazed at the thoughts he has. The questions he raises. He sees into our hearts, our souls. We exchange glances....."what IS this", we telegraph to each other. I sit back and savor it, watch it unfold. It's magic. It's magic, and it's heaven. I am sure of it. After awhile, Lou tires. The soft voice trails off. The door closes, ever so gently. We sit in silence. One by one, we leave the room. I walk our friend outside, still wrapped in the magic. We hug and the tears fall. I walk back to Lou. I watch him as he sleeps, I see his heart beating. I wonder if the door will open again any time soon. Must be vigilant. Must be watchful. Must be present. Thank you dear Lou. Thank you.


Anonymous Lisa said...

I want to say "Thank you, Lou" and "Thank you, Cathy." I am thanking you because you are reminding me to cherish these days. When I read your Lessons from Lou at home it reminds me to get up and go out into whatever room Dan is in at the time and give him a hug or just chit chat with him-- when I read it at work I am reminded to call him and hear his voice. I hope you are realizing how many hearts you touch with your "blog." I truly believe, Cathy, that you and Lou are not having to go through all of this in vain...your God-given gift of helping others is immeasurable.

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Kathie said...

Lisa is so right, Cathy you and Michelle say how important every one who writes to you and is support to you. You have no idea except we tell you often how important both of you are. How much we learn from you and how we learn to handle situations that come our way. I am spending this week with a friend who came to visit, I have not seen in 24 years and lost her husband 9 monthes ago. You will never know how you have made this week so much easier for me.
God Bless You.

1:54 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

Cathy, you and Lou are a treasure to all of us. Opening the window to your life and family during this struggle is not something everyone can do. You do it with such grace and dignity. Enjoy every "Open Door" and know even though you can't feel our hands they are touching and through this site I bet the joined hands would start in Walla Walla and continue to your front door because there are so many people out here reading, caring and praying. Stay strong and when you don't feel like you can do it remember you can and you will; look at Michelle.

8:43 AM  
Blogger Donna Metcalf said...

I am so happy that the door was opened for you even if for a brief time. I saw your pictures of you and Lou for the first time. What a handsome couple. Looking at the boys night out picture reminds me so of Mike.

I don't know where you find your courage and grace. Actually, that's not true. I do know where. If I ever am in the Chicago area (son Ryan wants to hit every baseball stadium in the U.S. someday), I'd love to meet you. You hang in there God bless. Donna Metcalf

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Kara said...


I was so delighted to see the beautiful picture of you and Lou posted here. Do you ever have one of those moments when you see a photo and think "they look like people that I would like to be friends with?" I had that thought when I saw the lovely picture of you and Lou. In this odd way, we have made friends along our husbands' journeys. Friends we would have never had before...and yet friends we are so grateful for. I will go home from work tonight and tend to Butch, who is recovering from being very sick today at chemo. And I will think of you and Lou - and thankful for the little things that we still get to have our husbands. Hugs, Kara

4:36 PM  

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