Lessons from Lou

This blog is about my journey through the brain tumor world with my dear husband, Lou. While not a journey I would wish on even my worst enemy, it is a journey that has enlightened and awakened me to what lies within us, and around us, each and every moment of each and every day. There are lessons here....lessons in this journey.....lessons from Lou....that I would like to share with you.

My Photo
Location: Chicago, Illinois

Picture of Lou (sick) and I at a party, circa 2005, long ago and faraway. I'm now a middle aged widow, trying to get my life back together. Mother of two young adult sons, living with two adult cats.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Guys Night Out

A good time was had by all. Yes indeed. From what I can gather, a good time was had by all......Tonight was Guys Night Out. Drew and Damon, and Raymond, our wonderful caregiver/friend, took Lou, along with 5 buddies, to a nearby park, for Guys Night Out. It started yesterday, with something Raymond said to Lou. I dont remember what it was exactly, but it was something that made Lou quip something about going out on the town. And Raymond picked up on that. And we decided TONIGHT would be the night. Just like that, we had a party planned (doesn't take me much as many of you know...any excuse for a party. We haven't had alot of excuses lately). Off to the tobacco shop I went today to purchase nine Monte Christo cigars. That set me back a pretty penny but who cares at this point. Then I decided it was time to crack open one of the several special champagnes Lou set aside years ago for a "special occasion". Can't imagine a MORE special one. Packed a bottle of scotch too. Can't have a good cigar without scotch. Lou was dressed in khakis, shirt, sweater, looked very dapper. Off they went at 7pm. It was a beautiful summer evening, perfect temperature, clear blue sky. It killed me not to go, but this was a guy thing. Two hours later, they returned with empty champagne bottle in tow. Smiles all around. BIG smiles all around. Hugs and laughter. And wonderful pictures. Priceless pictures. Someday I will learn how to post them here. Lou and his boys....or is it men...Damon and his first cigar...Damon enjoying his first cigar perhaps more then we all thought he would! Proud big brother. Lou savoring his cigar and scotch. Lou making an impromptu speech (but of course), everyone leaning in to listen to his now soft, quiet voice. Doesnt matter what he said, something about his father, and friends. Lou tumbled into bed and was asleep before the light went out. Oh what a night. A magical night. And this time, I didn't sweat it. I didn't sweat it at all. Lesson learned.


Blogger Sue said...

Oh how wonderfully special; what a night to remember for the boys. Those are one of those memories you and the boys can hold in your heart forever and no one can take them away. Just keep them close to your heart and when the days get rough and you don't think you can make it another minute pull that memory out of your mind and you will keep going, keep breadthing and keep loving without question.

6:26 AM  
Anonymous Kathie said...

Oh Cathy how special. I am so happy you could let him go with his boys and friends. I would think that would be awfully hard. Questions like won't it be to hard on Lou, won't he be to tiered, oh he can't go without me I need to take care of him. All these things might be true but so what it is a night to remember. A special memory the boys will have forever.
What wonderful friends you have to plan a night like this. Lou means alot to all of them. Cathy I hope you had some time to do what you would enjoy what ever it might be.
God Bless You, Lou, the boys and all the "Guys".

6:52 AM  
Blogger Victoria said...

I think this was a great idea, I'm glad Damon and Drew got see spend this precious time with Uncle Lou. I'm very glad to hear the night went off without a hitch!
Maybe you can have a bag packed, in case this last minute party happens again? I hope he feels up to going out again sometime soon and maybe the "girls" will be invited. Hang in there Aunt CathyAnn :)

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Dan Weinberger said...

The golf "quartet" spent many a night out together, with good scotch, and cigars to fortify ourselves. Someday I'll tell you about our group being towed, winched up high, in Sarasota, to the airport, all of us smoking cigars . When we got out at the air port, the gawkers couldn't believe their eyes....Ah memories, Lou's night out with his sons will be a memory never to be forgotten.....wish I could have been there....Dan

4:14 PM  
Anonymous Robert Qually said...

Last was both a joy and a sorrow, intertwined; for all the guys involved, especially Lou. Lou is a private man, of great character and pride. He was glad to see everyone, and sad that everyone saw him, in the shape he's in. How we ALL wished it was under different and better circumstances. But, nothing in life is forever, so while it lasts, you savor every simple moment you have... like last night, for a couple of hours, under the trees, in a quaint park in downtown Chicago, watching the sun go down, with my old and dear friend of 33 years, who is desperately trying to hold on to his mind and life with both hands, now. One thing Lou knows for sure.... he is loved by everyone there.

4:29 PM  
Blogger Claudia said...

Sometimes, Cathy, life just eases up and offers us a moment to breathe, to focus, and to remember how we came to this place we are in now. Blessed are those who know how to take those offered moments when they come!

Lou and the guys got a chance to bask in the joy of being guys hanging out together. How wise you all were to just enjoy and cherish the evening -- as well as the champagne, the scotch and the cigars!! There will be time for us "girls" later. For now, there are the memories you and your men made with and for Lou and with and for each other.

Good for you all....

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

It was so nice to read about Lou's "Guy's Night Out."
Dan just had a "Guy's Day Out" as well yesterday. He and 3 other guys went golfing. Dan used to love to golf. We even now live on a golf course and he watches golfers play on the 14th hole every single day...it always seemed sad to me that once Dan found out about his brain tumor his friends have kept him at arms length - I believe a lot of people do that when they don't know how to interract with others who are ill.
But Dan finally got a call the other day from a friend who said they wanted Dan to complete their foursome. Dan was absolutely thrilled. When he came home last night from his fun-filled day he was exhausted - but a good exhausted -- just like Lou was after his night out...I agree it is hard to "share" them sometimes but when we do we are blessed even more, aren't we?
Lisa Kidd

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Teresa said...

This is a memory that, maybe and hopefully, will pull you through those "Grilled Cheese, Please" days.

I love and hate your blog! You are the BEST & MOST WONDERFUL kind of person there is in this world of SFT's. I pray for You and Lou and your family daily!

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, Cathy, thank you for reminding me how important it is to cherish the occasional happy events that infiltrate the stress and sorrow of this blasted BT world that we live in!

God bless,
Lori Ware

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Diane Phillips said...

What a great image---thank you for sharing this with us! The best parties, I think, are thrown on a whim...or they just create themselves, tossing everything else back into the shadows, taking on great, vibrant life of their own. Not a one of them will forget it. Neither will you, I know. There are things that tumors cannot touch, corners of our lives and souls they cannot encroach upon, magic they cannot take away. I'm glad Lou had this time hung in suspension, doing something so wonderfully ordinary and yet extravagant as well. How many of us hold something in the closet, the basement, the fridge, waiting for a special occasion? Through you, I'm reminded that "special" has so many definitions. Thanks for giving voice to Lou's lessons.

1:34 PM  

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