Weekends

Weekends used to be different....busy....errands...working out...golf...black tie affairs....new restaurants to try....movies...errands...schlepping kids.....now...so different...weekends are different...quiet, slower...much. Is it all that bad? Does it really matter that the day starts at noon, or later? When you don't know what day it is...does it really matter then? Does it really matter if you do not get dressed until 4pm? Does it really matter that we watch Law & Order around the clock? Hmmm..I used to think it did. I used to fight this...but why? Life is never going to be normal again..why fight it? Just do your best with it. Don't focus on what isn't...focus on what IS. Don't focus on what can't be done anymore...focus on what CAN be done....for us, that means....spending so much time together...time we didnt' have before...time we just couldn't FIND before...funny how it is found now, isn't it? Talking to old friends more frequently...that's a good thing. Seeing our oldest son more often. Seeing most of our friends more often. Seeing family more often. Makes me wonder what we even DID before....before the BT....BBT....what did we do that was so darn important we didnt' have much time for each other?? Funny how that works, isn't it... Have a good weekend. Cathy

The Lessons

Oh yes....The Lessons. I meant to START with The Lessons......a friend said these are not lessons from "Lou's brain tumor"...they are lessons from Lou, lessons that have been there all along.....maybe I am just getting them now.....because of the brain tumor....? It is true. Before the brain tumor (that would be BBT), I don't think I "saw" everything, or "heard" everything that was going on around me...I"m quite sure I did not appreciate everything. That changed with the BT. I see alot now. I hear alot now. I get it now, I do. And I appreciate a heck of alot more now too....it took THIS to make that happen? Talk about being in your own world...guess I was.... Lessons from Lou l. You can't do it alone. At some point, you gotta yell for help...the sooner, the better. 2. I can live without manicures, I CANNOT live without lattes. 3. Decorating really doesn't matter......the people in the place are what matters. 4. It's amazing how beautiful the sound of Lou's snoring is............... 5. One can live on grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches for quite awhile, especially if on whole grain bread......... 6. Your children are so much more incredible then you ever could have imagined......... 7. Your friends and family are so much more incredible then you ever could have imagined! 8. Doctors do it for a living, patients do it for life. There's a difference. Bother the doctors as much as you need to. 9. No matter how bad you think you have it, someone else really DOES have it worse. 10. God DOES answer prayers, just not always as you might like. 11. Some people just don't get it. 12. Waterproof mascara. Nuff said. 13. If you make the moments count, you will not have to worry about making memories 14. Always say "I love You" 15. There is usually an up after a down, sometimes it just takes awhile 16. Elastic waistbands really are ok......... 17. your friends don't care if you are wearing your pj's..... 18. This is NOT like Lance Armstrong. 19. This is NOT like Tuesdays with Morrie 20. Make sure you know where the lock box key is. 21. Staying home with someone you love can be fun 22. Stacks are better then one big pile.... 23. If you look hard enough, you will find the good in most things.............. 24. At some point, you just gotta laugh. 25. Champagne never hurts 26. Never take your blood pressure after watching the news 27. Pita chips are NOT a diet food 28. Be nice to the nurse who draws blood 29. It's better to go out in a wheelchair then not to go out at all 30. The best anniversary gift is.....having an anniversary. We celebrated our 25th on April 11.......that was the best gift ever! More to come, Cath

Dinner Conversation

Dinner used to be fairly important here. We made a real point to have dinner together, as a family. It was often late of course, two parents in advertising, one with their own company......two busy kids, not to mention my very mediocre cooking talents...8pm dinners were the norm...no matter, we were together. "How was your day", Lou would ask each of us. Dinner conversations were often about the events of the day, sprinkled with the usual family bickering that can occur when everyone wants to talk at once, or win the debate. We also, often, discussed current events, or history, since both are a love of Lou's and Drew's.....and Damon soon followed. Good stuff. The last real family dinner I remember, before all this started, was one where Lou repeated himself several times...so out of character....and we all carefully exchanged worried looks....I remember it very well....the chill that came over me....since then....family dinners have taken on a different tone, a different feeling. The firstborn son no longer lives at home. It's the three of us...quiet. Lou begins with the same question, So how was your day?...and we answer. And he asks it again, a few minutes later...and again.....and "what day is it" and "what did I do today ".....sometimes our son has to leave the table, with a headache....but then Lou says his day was good....I'm glad he says that.....truth is, he did nothing today...or any day lately....but he feels it was a good day. Good. As we clear the dishes, he says "thank you for making a nice dinner, Cathy"...this he says for warmed up leftovers....and I say .. "thank you for this man dear God, thank you".

After Midnight

Based on the overwhelming response to my first post yesterday, I am back! It's late...or rather, early morning. Lou used to say "nothing good happens after midnight"....in reference to teenage sons who might be inclined to break curfew. He was right about that a few times. But now.....now.....after midnight is different..better....there are no questions.....there is no confusion.....quiet.....peaceful. People wonder why I stay up so late....what am I doing.....I think I stay up late because it's normal now....there is no brain tumor now...its asleep.....and I can look at Lou.....and he is LOU.....my Lou.....our Lou...there is no questioning look on his face, there is no worry. After midnight, it's the way it used to be.....to go to bed... brings morning......and morning brings questions and confusion........now you know why I stay up at night...

Becoming a Blogger......

Why, you ask? For the past eighteen months, I have managed to keep my family and friends up to date on our life in the brain tumor world through my frequent missives. Most of the time, I get very positve feedback on these missives. Recently, on the occasion of our 25th wedding anniversary, and, coincidently, the 18 month anniversary since Lou's diagnosis, I created a list of "Lessons from Lou".......just for the fun of it. Seems people liked it....quite a bit actually...family, friends, and my extended family.....my brain tumor buddies. Hmmm.....ok.......maybe there is something in this.......could I maybe do more with it? We'll see, won't we? You tell me...... I'll leave it at that for today. Becoming a blogger is enough for one day! Cath